Gnome and away Series 22 episode 6 first shown in 1973
Howard creeps into Clegg’s house and asks if he can leave a large item, hidden under a sheet, in his house. Clegg agrees before seeing the size of it. It is a present for Marina (Howard’s mistress) that he does not want his wife (Perl) to see. Perl is next door with Nora Batty, Edith, Ivy and Glenda (Barry’s wife who has been phoning him and telling him she is lonely when he is at work). Truly and Tom come and visit. Clegg explains that he wants the object (which is revealed to be a Gnome) out of the house. Truly goes to fetch Wesley and his land rover to get rid of it. Wesley was talking to Billy ‘The Hawk’ Hardcastle ad the time and he is also roped into the plot.
As they move the gnome it starts to sing ‘I want to be happy’ rousing the women next door who come out and demand to know what the object is. Although an answer is not forthcoming they appear satisfied when the gnome (still under a sheet) is returned to Clegg’s house. The men try again to remove the gnome which once again starts singing once more. Hawk and Howard try to convince Perl and her friends that it was them that were singing by doing a little song and dance act outside the house. When the cost is clear they load the gnome onto the back of the land rover and head off for marina’s, the women following surreptitiously in Edith’s Triumph Herald. They stop off at a telephone box so Howard can tell Marina he is arriving with the gnome. She is not available, so he leaves the message that a close friend has bought the gnome that she had admired. As they set off again they notice that they are being tailed and offload the gnome onto Smiler’s cart card right outside marina’s house. Marina assumed that Smiler must be the close friend.
Barry meanwhile is in Auntie Wainwright’s antique shop to get a present for his lonely wife. Auntie sells him a huge gnome, identical to the one that has been causing all the problems, explaining that ‘one is never alone with a gnome’. She has just finished explaining that this gnome is the only one of its kind in existence when Smiler with the other gnome in his cart and Marina in pursuit come around the corner. Marina sees Barry with the gnome and assumed that she has another ‘close friend’ that has bought her another gnome. The women in Edith’s Triumph Herald catch up with Wesley’s Land Rover (from which the men have escaped) and remove the sheet from the object in the back to reveal that it is Smiler who says that he was told to hide under the sheet from an unspecified danger. As the final credits roll more and more people appear carrying these ‘one of a kind’ gnomes.